


From the Darkness, Into the Light

by Stalkkerikissa



Series: In the Dark(God au) [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Confused Katsuki Yuuri, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, God Victor, God Yuuri, Hand Jobs, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation, Smut, brief mention of MPreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-15 00:28:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14780168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stalkkerikissa/pseuds/Stalkkerikissa
Summary: “I’ve been looking you for so long” He heard a voice behind him. He noticed, perhaps a little too late that the steps had stopped right behind him. “I lost you, but now I found you again” the voice spoke again softly and it made him shiver."Who are you?"“Oh, I’m Victor and I’m your husband, Yuuri.”





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is my first multi chapter fic and I was too exited not to post it before it was finished. I have almost 3 chapters finished already but I decided to start posting it now. I will post once a week until I have posted all the finished chapters and then it may take little longer to post because I write slowly and I may not get a chapter done in a week. I will try but I can't promise anything! 
> 
> I will also post updates for this fic on my tumblr that you can find here: https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/
> 
> That's all this time, I hope you enjoy!

There used to live a boy with his family in a town next to a Mountain. They were different in many ways, but the weirdest thing about them was how the whole family would go to the Mountain every single morning. No one knew what they were doing there and no one really wanted to know.

Everything was fine until the boy was ten years old. Weird things started happening in the town, chickens and other farm animals would be found dead without reason and people would get sick and some even die. Some people started blaming the boy because he all the other kids feared him.

His family stopped going to the Mountain after they boy’s mother got sick. He was the only one still going while his father and sister took care of his mother. Every morning he went to the Mountain and prayed the Mountain to spare the people of his town and take care of his mother. He had to go, had to try make things better.

Of course, the Mountain didn’t listen without making the boy see what it had seen. The town had become corrupted and the Mountain was furious at its people. The people had slaves, got drunk more than they should, had sex and hurt each other.

The boy started to give the Mountain sacrifices trying to calm it. Even if he had seen the corruption after the Mountain had pointed it out, he still wanted to save the people he called his own.

His mother started to get better but just because of that the town started to really believe they were behind all the bad that happened. They had seen the boy going to the Mountain, they thought that he had cursed them. The boy had to be the one to cause their misery.

No one would listen when he tried to explain it was the Mountain that did it all. He tried to tell them they had to stop doing things that had made the Mountain angry. Nothing he said worked and the corruption just got worse.

Eventually the family was driven out of the town. They took everything they could with them and left, leaving the town and the Mountain behind them.

They travelled far away, in to a town next to a sea where no one had ever heard about them or the Mountain. They tried to make a new life there and everyone except the boy did so happily, got new friends and forgot the Mountain. They built an inn near hot springs and they got to share their amazing foods and drinks and everyone in their new town and surrounding towns fell in love with them.

But the boy couldn’t forget the Mountain. He still heard its voice in his head. Sometimes he would wake up screaming when he had a dream about the old town. 

He tried to forget the bad dreams and tried to ignore the voice in his head and eventually he found friends and started helping around his family’s inn. 

He grew up from a boy to a handsome young man, his hair black as the moonless night and eyes warm and brown like syrup with a hint of red. His body was strong and some would even say it was a bit feminine with its curves and softness.

He started dancing to let out the frustration out of his body and after little while people who saw him dancing claimed he made music with his body.

Then some musicians came to the town and sometimes started playing for the young man while he danced. It soon became a regular thing because people seemed to enjoy the dance even more with a clear music on the background.

People paid him to see him dance and that made the inn even more popular because everyone knew he lived there. So he danced and helped people forget their worries with his dancing.

He danced and eventually he started to forget the Mountain which had finally calmed down. He thought it was over and finally he could breathe and his steps got lighter.

What he didn’t realize then was that in the town there was a new man. Beautiful, tall man with long silver hair. The man came to see him every night but the young man was so focused on his dance, he didn’t notice.

One night the young man went outside after his work was done. He walked to the cliff above the water where no one ever went and sat there watching the beautiful sky. The moon was full, shining its silver light down to the earth. He heard the waves hitting the rocks beneath him and breathed out relaxing because there was only the calm sounds of night and the sea.

He sat there alone for a long time until he heard steps behind him. He pretended he didn’t hear them and just closed his eyes breathing the oceans smell inside his lungs. He had learned to love it in the years they had lived there.

“I’ve been looking you for so long” He heard a voice behind him. He noticed, perhaps a little too late that the steps had stopped right behind him. “I lost you, but now I found you again” the voice spoke again softly and it made him shiver. He had never heard voice like that. It was so beautiful and there was a funny accent in it.

He got up from his place and turned around to face the person talking to him. His breath caught in his throat because he had never seen someone so beautiful. Long silver hair was swaying in the wind and the man looked just perfect with his sharp nose and soft lips.

The man looked like an angel, he could see his bright blue eyes shining in the light from the moon. It was like the man was shining even brighter than the moon.

“I wasn’t sure at first, I mean, you look like you always looked but you have a family and you work with them like a human” The man chuckled and his eyes never left the younger man. “But then I heard the music. Your music.”

Silence fell over them and they looked at each other, one of them confused and scared and the other happy and exited.

“Who are you?” The young man heard his voice asking. His voice was shaking and he didn’t even realize he spoke before the words had left his mouth. 

“Oh, I’m Victor and I’m your husband, Yuuri.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Wow, I wasn't expecting so positive reaction for the prologue, thank you all so much!
> 
> I was going to wait until next week to post the first chapter but my back is killing me and I can't even play anything because even sitting hurts so I decided to post this early since i'm bored and need some motivation.
> 
> I edited this on my phone so if there are any mistakes, please let me know! 
> 
> That's all this time I guess. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> If you have any questions about the story or anything you can ask here or message in my tumblr(I don't know how to make a link here) stalkkerikissa.
> 
> Enjoy!

Yuuri was running. He was already out of breath but he could already see the warm lights of his house. His mother and father would still be up taking care of the few late-night guests. He ran as fast as he could and soon he was home, familiar smells surrounding him. He stopped and tried to catch his breath his lungs burning.

He was going to go to talk to his parents but suddenly that didn’t seem such a good idea. He thought back to the conversation with the silver haired man walking silently to his own room trying to not alert his parents that he had come home.

He went to lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling pondering the things the man had said now that he was calm enough to do it.

\-------------

_“Oh, I’m Victor and I’m your husband, Yuuri” the man, Victor said while the cutest smile on earth came to his face._

_“What?” Yuuri asked shocked at the man’s words. “How do you know my name?” he questioned trying to keep his voice even._

_“Your name has always been Yuuri” Victor explained and stared Yuuri’s eyes. “Just like mine has always been Victor” he continued smile fading a little. “You see, when we die, we are reborn and then one of the older gods, who have similar powers to ours, take care of us until humans come to find and raise us, it’s just how it always has been” he said and shrugged._

_“We die…? Gods? Are you crazy?” Yuuri hissed getting frustrated now because only crazy people said things like that. “I haven’t died” he said shaking his head. “You really must be crazy… I’m going home” he murmured and started walking away, not really wanting to hear more craziness right now._

_“Oh Yuuri… I really think you should listen because your powers are already starting to get out of control” Victor sighed stopping the younger man taking his hand on his own gently. “You died 23 years ago, your powers took control of you and you… Well, you destroyed a planet” He said biting his lower lip._

_“I destroyed a planet?”_

_“Yeah and few gods, but we don’t really die so that doesn’t matter” Victor laughed that cute heart-shaped smile on his face again when Yuuri turned to look at the man. “Some lose their powers or memories but it really isn’t a big deal.”_

_Yuuri was so confused and scared and all he wanted to do was run and hide, but curiosity got the better of him. “If I can destroy planet and kill gods, what the hell am I?” Yuuri asked, scared to hear what the man would tell him._

_“You are a god, Yuuri, one of the strongest and scariest. You are quite famous in our world” Viktor grinned while some weird blue light started coming out of him. “Some might want to use your powers against other gods and humans so you should be careful” He said the blue light now surrounding them both._

_When he felt the magic touch his cheek, so warm and soft he almost relaxed at first. But then he got really scared, because that was magic and it shouldn’t exist, and he started running as fast as he could away from the man._

\-------------

Yuuri let out a breath he was holding and got up from his bed. Maybe the man was crazy, but so was he because he kind of wanted to believe what the man was saying. Also, there was that, that he had heard a voice in his head for years, so maybe he really was crazy.

Suddenly it dawned on him that he hadn’t heard the voice in days. He hadn’t noticed it before because he was so busy with the inn but now it was disturbingly silent in his head. There were only his own thoughts but no other voices and he felt a little lonely because of that.

“I am a god” He whispered looking his hands and defeated sigh left his lungs. He left his room and went to look his parents. He had so many questions and he needed answers soon.

“Mom?” he quietly asked when he found his mother from the kitchen who looked ready to go to bed. He was nervous but he had to do this now.

“Yes, dear?”

“Um… I was wondering… Where did I come from?” He was so nervous his hands shook and he couldn’t look at his mother’s surprised face.

“Well… Oh Yuuri” Hiroko sighed and shook her head. “It’s way too late for this conversation, you should be sleeping” She answered and took her son’s hand in hers ignoring his silent protests. “Let’s talk about it in the morning, okay?”

His father came into the kitchen just when he opened his mouth to demand answers from her. “Fine then” He mumbled and left to go back in his room. He was frustrated but he tried to understand. It was late and he saw how tired his parents were.

He didn’t end up in his own room though. When he was on the hallway, there was this weird and strong pull that pulled him towards the guest room. He followed it without thinking and ended up in front of the last door of that corridor. He tried to knock as silently as he could, hoping the room was empty and no one would hear. Quickly the door opened and he almost stopped breathing when he saw who was inside.

“Oh” came out of his mouth quietly. Why was Victor here? Why did he felt the need to come here? His mind went blank when Victor’s face melted into a beautiful and warm smile.

“Do you want to come inside?” Victor asked and Yuuri felt himself nod and he went inside the room after Victor moved away from the door to let him in.

He stood there for a minute confused and little scared but also very calm. “Why… How did you…”

“I could feel you were upset so I called you” Victor replied before Yuuri could finish his question. “I just came back here, I wanted to give you little time to process the things I said to you” He said closing the door quietly and went to sit on the bed gently patting the bed next to him inviting Yuuri to sit there with him.

“How can you feel it when I’m upset?” Yuuri asked his voice shaking little and he was going to cry, oh god, not now please. He was so confused and still little scared and Victor was so kind and calm and it made him feel so good, despite still being upset, for some reason.

“We have a connection, I can feel you when you’re upset or happy or content, whatever it is I can always feel it. Same goes for you, you can feel my feelings but for you right now its weaker because you are so new and you don’t have your memories of our past lives yet” Victor explained and brushed his beautiful silver hair behind his ear to keep it away from his face.

“How does it work? How any of this works? Why… What was that pull I felt?” Yuuri asked moving to sit on the bed hesitating only little.

“Oh, that was my call for you” Victor smiled gently and raised his hand to brush Yuuri’s hair from his face but stopped before he could do it. He didn’t know this Yuuri that well yet.

“Um, can you… Can you tell me everything? From the beginning?” Yuuri asked noticing Victor’s movement but he didn’t react to it because he didn’t know what it was about.

“Yes, but first promise me you won’t run away again” Victor chuckled and oh, his smile was so gorgeous. Yuuri nodded and made a tiny agreeing noise. His voice wasn’t working so well right now.

“Okay, good. This will take a while so I hope you are ready? We can always stop and continue later if you need to rest” Victor said and took more comfortable position looking at the younger man.

“It all started when the universe was created. The first gods and goddesses, our mothers and fathers were born in this… Dimension connected to this universe. I really don’t know what it exactly is and no one knows. Well, then life started forming in these planets and every god had their own planet to take care of. There weren’t so many of us then” Victor started telling the story with gentle voice.

“You had your own planet and I had my own, I had one with ice and darkness, yours was full of fire and light. We were… Different” Victor paused and looked at his hands now. It seemed like he didn’t know what to say next.

“You see, we were born from magic. We are an experiment one god made. He wasn’t supposed to create two beings but for some reason the magic was split and suddenly he had two babies, one completely white and one totally black. They were us, in the beginning. As we grew up, our colours started to chance and your skin got lighter until it was the colour it is now, and my skin got little darker.”

“Wait, does that mean we are brothers?” Yuuri asked furrowing his brows confused. Victor had said they were married.

“No, because we are halves of one. Our souls are one cut in half, our elements are opposites because we were supposed to be one being who can control them all” Victor explained and tapped his lips with his index finger his brows furrowed in thought. “Actually, now that I think of it, it kind of makes us brothers” He said laughing awkwardly.

“But it really doesn’t matter because there isn’t anyone we could be with except each other. Our souls want to be one again so they will forever pull us together physically and for us that has always been romantic connection” Victor said smiling gently again.

“I still remember how it felt to make love to you for the first time. There was this burning fire inside me that calmed down leaving only warmth after it when we became one. You told me later that the freezing ice you had always felt inside you, had finally melted.”

Yuuri was completely red and he thought there must have been smoke coming out of his ears after hearing that they had had sex. That was too much for him to handle after spending his 23 years of living completely uninterested of sex.

“You are a beast when it comes to making love- “

“Oh god, please shut up, I really don’t want to know!” Yuuri yelped quickly covering Victor’s mouth with his hand to keep him from saying anything more. He didn’t want to think about having sex with Victor right now. “Can you please continue telling me about how we got here?” He requested when he calmed down a little and put his hand down.

“Ah, yes” Victor chuckled and then went silent for a while.

“Our creator went mad. I forgot to mention that he was one of the first gods and he was always a little outcast. That is the main reason he created us” He said and breathed deeply. “He started a war.”

“Some gods were smart and left our dimension to go live in their own planets and the rest of us fought back when our creator started destroying and killing everything. I remember how I wanted to stay on his side because he had raised us but then he killed you because you tried to stop him from killing your best friend. After that I left his side because he had destroyed everything I loved and lived for.”

“We fought many years before I stopped him. It was then that I found out about my power. I am the only god who can stop another god completely. I was going to kill him but then someone told me gods never really die, so I didn’t do it. We created a new dimension where we put him and there he is still to this day, stopped forever not really living and not dead” Victor sighed and played with his hair deep in thought.

“After that only few decided to stay in our dimension. I started looking you following the pull from my soul. It took a while but I finally found you. You had your memories of our first life so when you were ready, we got together. It was like that so many centuries, we stopped aging and we were going to live forever protecting the planet we had found.”

“I should have known it doesn’t work like that. We both died again and again and we had to find each other but most of the time I was too late and the last time I couldn’t even try to save you. You were lonely, depressed and you didn’t understand why you were like that. When I found you, I thought I could fix everything like I had few times before. The god who had raised you and taught you everything, killed me just when I had earned your trust again. He wanted you for himself and wanted me out of the way.”

“After you watched me die, you slowly started losing it. I wasn’t there to see it but I was told you started losing control of your powers. At first it was just big thunderstorms but then you started lighting things in fire by accident. It took three years for you to completely lose control of your powers. Then it only took little under a year for you to destroy the whole planet and finally your own powers killed you.”

“That’s it” Victor finished looking at Yuuri who had turned pale. He had talked already for a long time and sun was starting to rise. He had left some parts out of the story so Yuuri wouldn't run again but he knew Yuuri would remember it all someday.

Yuuri stared at his hands not understanding how he could destroy so much. He was silent for a long time but eventually he opened his mouth. “Can you… Can you teach me? How to control my powers?”

“Yes” Victor said and gently brushed Yuuri’s hair away from his eyes. “But first you need to sleep.”

“Oh” Yuuri made a small noise when he realized it was already getting bright outside. “I should… I’m going to bed” He said getting up from Victor’s bed and brushed his hair back finally feeling tired. “See you later?” He asked quietly looking at Victor.

“Yes, I’ll be here when you wake up” Victor smiled and that smile really did something to Yuuri’s heart and he was way too tired to think about it. “Good night.”

“Good night” Yuuri whispered leaving the room and walking to his own. He went to lay on his bed and almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was deep in sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and thank you again for all the kudos! If there were any mistakes, let me know in the comments.
> 
> I think I will post the second chapter next week Monday or Tuesday. 
> 
> Comments and kudos make me happy :) come chat with me in tumblr! https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Okay, I can't keep up a schedule so I'm just going to post chapters when I feel like it, sorry(or you're welcome since I'm early?) :D 
> 
> Right now I have two finished chapters and the next one is coming along nicely so I thought why keep them from you guys. I'm trying to always stay ahead with at least one chapter so I can't promise when the next one will be up.
> 
> I actually split this chapter in two parts because I want to keep my chapters pretty short at least for now(that may change because there is going to be more story and drama in future chapters)
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr [stalkkerikissa](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/) about yoi or other stuff if you want to :D(yay I finally learned how to link stuff here, my teachers would be so ashamed of me since I forgot how to link in html and I studied coding almost 2 years, oops)
> 
> Enjoy!

Yuuri woke up when he heard someone calling him from behind his door. He hadn’t slept that long and he was still tired but he got up and went to his door. “I’m coming” He mumbled and opened the door looking tiredly at the person who was standing there. It was his sister, Mari.

“Get up, I need your help at the hot springs” she said and looked his brother slight worry on her face. “Go change and come help me” she continued knowing better than to ask what was wrong.

“Okay, see you there” Yuuri answered and closed his door. He went to change his clothes to those he wore when he worked and brushed his hair quickly before leaving his room. He could happily forget last night now that everything was back to normal. 

It was only later that day when his help wasn’t needed anymore that he sat down to eat and think. He had had a really weird dream, a nightmare but nothing like the ones he had before.

In the dream he had seen Victor brutally murdered right before his eyes. The killer in the dream was someone he had called his friend, a black-haired man, little older than he was. He had killed the man without even thinking twice right after Victor took his last breath in his hands. It had been awful but he remembered how good it had felt in the dream to kill his lover’s killer. He had been so angry and that feeling just fueled his rage until it devoured him completely and he had destroyed everything.

It was disturbing how good it had felt in the dream to do such things and how easy it was for him just to let go and let it happen.

He finished his meal and went to search for his parents. Now he wanted to have the conversation they had moved to the morning.

“Mother?” He asked when he got to the kitchen. “I want to talk now” He said determined look in his eyes.

“Oh, yes, take a seat dear” Hiroko said worried look taking over her face. “You wanted to know where you came from, right?” She waited to see Yuuri nod and took a deep breath.

“We found you when you were a baby. You were so tiny, tinier than Mari was when she was born” She said soft expression on her face. “You were only few days old and we took you home and raised you as our son” She explained. “I’m sorry we never told you before. You are still our son even if I didn’t give birth to you” She smiled gently and stroked Yuuri’s hair gently.

“You didn’t try to find my parents?” Yuuri asked silently even if he now knew that he really didn’t have parents.

“Well we asked around but no one knew anything so we kept you” Hiroko answered quietly. “We were hoping for another child but we couldn’t have more so you were a dream come true for us. So after that we went to the mountain every day to pray and thank the world for giving you to us” She continued and Yuuri went still.

So that’s why they had gone to the mountain.

“Mom? T-thank you for raising me. Thank you for loving me so much even if I’m not yours” Yuuri said voice shaking and he hugged the smaller woman tears in his eyes. He didn’t know where he would be without them. He didn’t know if this planet even would exist anymore if they hadn’t taken him in.

“I have to go, I need to do something and I probably will not be able to work until I’m done, I’m sorry” He said letting go of his mother determined expression taking over his face and then he left. He had to find Victor and start practicing.

He found the man from the guest area. He had felt the pull again even before he talked with his mother so it was easy to follow it.

“Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed happily. “The food is so good here!” He sang and smiled that beautiful smile of his. “Are you ready?” He then asked looking more serious.

“Yes” Yuuri said nodding and little smile came to his lips. He was exited and little scared because he had no idea what the training was going to be.

Victor got up and he took a quick look of Yuuri. “You should probably change clothes first” He said smiling. “Maybe take the clothes you dance in?” He suggested.

“Oh, okay that’s actually a good idea” Yuuri laughed little embarrassed. He was still wearing his work clothes. He went to his room ignoring Victor who followed him there. “Um… You don’t have to come in.”

“Why?” Victor asked confused closing the door so Yuuri could get privacy.

“Uh… Well I need to change. So, um… Can you go wait outside?” Yuuri blushed looking at Victor. He never let anyone except his family in his room but Victor had just followed him there like a puppy.

“Oh! Don’t worry, I won’t look” Victor grinned and started looking around in Yuuri’s room.

“Fine, just don’t look” Yuuri took a deep breath and tried to ignore the man again when he went to look for his dance clothes and started taking his clothes off. Even if Victor had said he wouldn’t look, Yuuri felt his gaze on his body.

He knew he had a beautiful body, lean and muscular, maybe little feminine curves, but he used to be a pretty chubby child and he still had little issues with that.

He changed his shirt and watched Victor from the corner of his eye. He could feel the desire in his gaze. He decided to tease the man a little so he took his pants off slowly revealing that he had no underwear and then put his other pants on just as slowly, bending to get them over his feet and when he was done he turned to face Victor.

“I told you not to watch” He grinned when he saw how the man had blushed.

“I couldn’t resist” Victor said having little difficulties with swallowing. “So, uh, we should go then” He cleared his voice and left the room first.

“Oh my god” Yuuri whispered to himself mortified. He didn’t know where the confidence had come but he really enjoyed how worked up Victor had gotten. He took a minute to calm himself down before he followed Victor. “Where are we going?” He asked trying to sound normal when they started walking outside.

“Where you feel calm and comfortable would be a good place to start” Victor said smiling gently seeming to have calmed down from Yuuri's little show.

“I like the beach” Yuuri responded and they started heading towards the beach. “I actually go there to run sometimes when I need to burn energy” He continued after they had walked in silence for a while.

“That’s a perfect place then” Victor smiled and pretty soon they arrived there. “First you need to learn to calm your mind. That is the most important thing in your training” He said and sat down on the sand.

Yuuri followed his example and sat down feeling a little awkward. “How?”

“Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath, hold it in while I count to five and then slowly let it out” Victor instructed and watched Yuuri do as told while he counted from one to five. “Let’s repeat few times” He said and they did so until Yuuri was calm enough.

“Now try to feel your powers” Victor said quietly. “You should feel it in the same place where you feel the pull. Your main power is fire. Try to find it in you.”

Yuuri kept his breathing calm trying to find his powers. It was hard to focus on the feelings inside him. There was so much going on and he only felt his heartbeat. “I can’t feel it…” He mumbled getting little frustrated because his heartbeat was so fast.

“Don’t worry, it will take a while. I’ll make the pull stronger” Victor replied silently.

Yuuri started searching again after Victor’s words. He followed the pull to where it came from inside him.

At first, he didn’t feel anything besides the pull towards Victor. It was so much smaller than it had been last night even if Victor had made it stronger. “I can’t- “ he started but shut his mouth immediately when he felt the heat inside him.

He realized many things at once. It had been hard to find it because it had always been there. The second thing was that there was music, so silent he only heard one or two notes here and there, right where the fire was. “Music?” he asked confused opening his eyes.

It was silent but it was still so familiar, like he had heard it for his whole life.

“Yes, that is where your music also comes from. You probably haven’t realized it but that is the music you are dancing to and everyone else can also hear it” Victor explained and smiled. “It is actually your fire that makes the music.”

“Oh” Yuuri put his hand to his stomach where his fire was. It got stronger the more he thought about it. “How are you going to teach me how to control it?” He asked watching Victor.

“Let’s dance” Victor said grinning and got up from the ground and offered his hand to Yuuri who took it after hesitating little.

Soon they both were standing and Yuuri forgot to let go of Victors hand. It was so much colder than his and he got little worried about it. “Are you cold? Should we go back?”

“Oh no, I’m almost always cold to touch, it’s my power” Victor explained smiling. “I control water and darkness while you control fire and light. You are hot and I’m cold.”

“Okay” Yuuri said letting go of Victors hand. “So… We are going to dance. How do you want me to dance?”

“Dance like your fire does. Be one with it” Victor said and moved aside to give Yuuri more space.

Yuuri closed his eyes and focused on the fire, starting to move slowly letting it guide him. It was hard at first but soon his music got clearer and he could dance to its melody. He opened his eyes and continued moving now with more passion, letting the fire lead him.

He moved his hands and twisted his body in arch how he saw his fire doing. It was easier than he ever thought and he slowly realized he had been doing this for his whole life. Not the previous lives Victor told him but this life. He had always danced like the fire he felt.

He spun and let his body do what it knew best. It felt so freeing and good to let the fire guide him.

Suddenly he screamed when freezing water splashed on his body and for a second he thought he had went too close to the sea but realized that wasn’t it. He looked at Victor who looked extremely happy.

“Your fire got little out of control” The man grinned and then clapped his hands. “It was beautiful but don’t let humans see your fire, okay?”

Yuuri brushed his wet hair back and pouted. He looked at his body and realized why Victor had done what he did. His clothes had little burn marks. “Oh.”

“Next we need you to learn how to keep it inside” Victor said smiling. “And maybe you should start wearing black clothing when we train” He laughed. “I didn’t know your fire would get out so easily so I’m sorry suggesting these clothes.”

“It’s okay, I was going to get new ones anyway because these are starting to be a bit too small” Yuuri said shrugging looking at his white shirt which had turned brown and black from some places. He decided to take his shirt off hoping not to burn it more and handed it to Victor.

“Next do the same thing as you did now but focus on keeping the fire inside” Victor said swallowing when he looked at Yuuri’s beautiful body. It had been too long since he got to touch it.

Yuuri nodded and started dancing again. It was harder than he had thought to keep it inside. More often than not he caught fire almost as soon as he started Victor had to use his powers to shut the fire down.

After almost two hours of trying and failing he couldn’t do it anymore. He was shivering from the freezing water and his limbs felt like they would fall off his body. “I can’t anymore, please” He whined rubbing his arms to warm himself. He was soaked and tired.

“It’s okay, we can continue tomorrow” Victor said smiling and gave Yuuri’s shirt back to him. He watched as the younger man put it on and sighed disappointed look crossing his face. He wanted to look more of Yuuri’s body. “Is there a bath or something at home where you can warm yourself up?” He asked Yuuri when they started walking back to the inn.

“We have the hot springs. I think I could use them for a while if it’s not too busy” Yuuri replied and sped up his steps to get home faster. He really needed to warm up and soak his sore muscles in the hot water.

“Can I join you?” Victor asked exited.

“Um… Sure” Yuuri said blushing little. “We have an own section to men so there might be others too if you don’t mind that.”

“Not at all! I like showing my body!” Victor exclaimed happily and Yuuri just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are appreciated <3
> 
> Next chapter will get a little steamy, little fun in the hot springs ;)
> 
> Oh hey also, would anyone be interested reading one shot about Yuuri's and Victor's first time in their first lives? I already started writing it but whether or not I post it depends on you guys :)
> 
> Come chat with me on [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/)!


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm sorry it took this long to update, I have had this chapter ready for... weeks already and I edited it a week ago but I've been lazy and shit so I haven't even opened my computer this past week.
> 
> Last weekend was the best weekend of my life, I met my favorite band(Sonata Arctica, their music is actually my main inspiration for any of my stories) and got their signatures and got to speak with them and I gave them a small gift and they liked it and I was so freaking happy, then I also met other metal bands and it was so cool! So that may be the reason why I've been pretty much dead this past week, no writing and nothing, just dead.
> 
> Okay I shut up now, here you go!
> 
> Oh, be warned, this chapter has little bit of sexy times (it may be awkward since it's Yuuri's first time doing anything sexual(and my first time writing smut, lol)) 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

When they got back into the inn little later Yuuri went to look his mother, Victor following him into the kitchen where he finally found the woman.

“Mom? Can I, um can we go to the hot springs?” Yuuri asked when he found the woman.

“Oh yes, it should be empty now” Hiroko smiled but her smile fell and she looked worried when she saw Yuuri. “Why are you wet? And who is this?” she asked looking at Victor.

“I fell to the water on the beach” Yuuri responded and looked at Victor. “He is our guest, my um… New friend” He blushed and left the kitchen quickly to go to the hot springs.

“Come to eat after you’re done boys!” Hiroko smiled at them and went back to work and prepare dinner.

Yuuri walked fast until he was on the doors to the hot springs and left Victor there to go get towels for them. Then he returned and they went inside the bathing room together.

“You need to wash yourself before going to the hot springs” He instructed and took his clothes of folding them and went to wash himself. He tried to not look Victor when the man took his clothes off and started washing himself.

Soon Yuuri was ready and he went outside taking his towel with him, looking around and sighing deeply when he realized that they really would be alone there. He lowered himself in the water and moaned quietly from how good it felt. He took a good place leaning his back against the stones sighing deeply melting in the water.

He opened his eyes when he heard a weird noise coming from Victor and watched as the man struggled to lower himself in the water.

“It’s so hot!” Victor whined but eventually moved to sit next to Yuuri. “So, what do you normally do in here?”

“We relax” Yuuri answered faint blush on his face because Victor was so close they were almost touching. He closed his eyes again and sighed relaxing against the stone. It felt so good and his muscles got the rest and warmth they needed.

They were silent for a while and Yuuri noticed how Victor too finally relaxed next to him. “You know, this water is like our elements mixed together. Earth is a nice place” Victor said quietly smiling.

“Yeah” Yuuri said opening his eyes and looked at Victor who was openly staring at him. “Do you really have to stare me all the time? It’s little awkward” he blushed again but his eyes started to travel up and down on Victor’s gorgeous body.

“Yes, you are beautiful and you know it. That’s one of the reasons why you dance, right?” Victor asked and saw how the blush deepened on the younger man's face.

“How did you…”

“Well, I’ve seen how you react to people watching you so many times before. You are not normally this confident but it really looks beautiful on you” Victor answered sighing deeply. “I really missed it.”

“I’m not really that confident… I like it when people like my dancing but outside that I’m a mess” Yuuri said quietly. “It’s always like there is something missing…” he mumbled.

“Victor, I had a dream last night” Yuuri said after being silent for a while. “I saw what you told me but I saw more” he continued biting his lower lip. “I saw your killer and I killed him after you died in my arms.”

“It felt good. It felt better than anything I have ever felt” He explained and whined quietly. “I’m bad, right?”

“No” Victor said calmly. “You are not bad. The reason it felt good was because you let go, you let your powers free. No one can really blame you, you lost the other half of your soul just when you got it back” He smiled sadly and put his hand on Yuuri’s cheek.

Yuuri leaned back to the touch and closed his eyes. “Did that happen to you too when you lost me?” He asked quietly.

“Yes. The first time I lost control but I got it back after learning you were born again. My powers can’t really consume me like yours do but the pain is unbearable every time I lose you” Victor whispered.

“In the dream I remember wishing I was dead so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of losing you” Yuuri said and put his own hand over Victor’s hand opening his eyes and looked into the man’s bright blue eyes.

Victor watched Yuuri and smiled leaning in and pressing his lips to Yuuri’s. He forgot that they had just met and they weren’t that close yet.

Yuuri flinched but didn’t retreat from the kiss. It felt good and something inside him melted a little when they kissed. He even got little brave and parted his lips and touched Victors lips with his tongue.

Victor too parted his lips and let Yuuris tongue in his mouth and soon after that the kiss turned more intense. Victor had to part from the kiss because he wasn’t sure if he could control himself anymore.

“Victor” Yuuri whined at the loss of Victor’s lips. He wanted more and he felt little drunk because of the kiss. It was all he never knew he wanted but now he needed it.

“We can’t” Victor said pressing his finger gently on Yuuri’s lips. “It’s too soon, you don’t have your memories back yet” He explained and bit his lips. “I can’t do it to you until you remember everything.”

Yuuri pouted and looked down, smirking when he saw how turned on Victor really was after the kiss. “Are you sure you can wait? I mean, we could go behind the bush to take care of these” he offered grinning and pointed the bushes behind them after pointing their erections. No one would see them there and they wouldn’t get the water dirty.

“You really are different than the past you” Victor swallowed and got out of the water offering his hand to Yuuri who took it without hesitation this time.

“Is it bad?” Yuuri laughed and pushed Victor to sit on the ground going to sit on his lap after that. He didn’t have an idea what they should do so he wrapped his hand around Victors lenght like he did to himself when he was pleasuring himself and started stroking it.

“Ah… No, I love it when you get like this…” Victor moaned and closed his eyes before opening them again pulling Yuuri into a deep kiss.

The kiss was rushed and full of teeth and tongue but Yuuri loved it because it gave him even more courage.

He started moving his hips against Victor’s trying to get friction to his own dick when Victor stopped his hand.

“Do it like this" the older man said guiding Yuuri to also wrap his fingers on his own lenght. “Now move.”

Yuuri started moving his hips again gasping at the feeling how their erections rubbed against each other. “Oh" he moaned starting to slowly thrust his hips to his hand.

It was so different but it felt so good especially when Victor started moving too while wrapping his own hand around their dicks.

It didn’t take long before Yuuri came hard between them and soon after Victor followed.

Yuuri leaned against Victor face burning and panting hard. He had never came so hard and fast and it was so embarrassing how they had ended up like that without even knowing each other that well. Well, Victor knew Yuuri but still.

“Are you okay?” Victor asked quietly sounding little out of breath.

“Yeah…” Yuuri mumbled and raised his head watching Victor. It seemed the man was almost as flustered as Yuuri which made him feel little better and he kissed Victor gently. “Was it good? I don’t have any experience in stuff like this…” he mumbled blushing more.

“Yes, you did so good" Victor smiled and gave Yuuri a little kiss. “Shall we clean up and enjoy the hot springs more or should we go inside?”

“Let’s go and eat, I’m hungry” Yuuri pouted and took the towel he had taken with him and put it in the water to get it wet and then cleaned them up.

It was weird to touch Victor like that even after what they had done but he decided he could freak out about it later when he went to sleep.

“You know, I’m not the only one who knows they are beautiful and wants to show it to people. You are the same” Yuuri said smiling to Victor when he started heading inside.

“Do you think i’m narcissistic?” Victor laughed when he followed the younger man after stopping to think what Yuuri said.

“No, I just noticed how much you enjoy it when you get attention” Yuuri grinned and started washing himself again. When he was done he dried himself and took two sets of men’s clothing the inn had specifically for wearing after soaking in the hot springs.

He put clothes on and took the second set to Victor. “Wear this when you are done” He said and bit his lip. “Do you need help?” He asked when he noticed Victor struggling with his hair.

“Ah, no, it just is little out of control. Nothing that a good brushing won’t fix” the man smiled and gave up with his hair starting to dry himself off. Then he took the clothes Yuuri offered and put them on.

“Can I… Um... Can I brush them? After we eat of course” Yuuri asked blushing deeply.

“Oh, I’d love that” Victor smiled gently and after he was done he gave Yuuri a little kiss on the cheek. “Let’s go eat now?”

“Yes” Yuuri answered quickly and started heading towards the dining room.

His mother was already waiting them with food ready. “Oh good! Just in time, go sit boys” Hiroko said smiling happily and put the bowls on the table after the men had sat down. “I was going to ask your father to go get you but you were faster.”

“O-oh” Yuuri gulped and started shoveling food in his mouth to get it over fast.

“Yes, you were there alone for quite a while so I was getting worried. What took you boys so long?” Hiroko asked and Yuuri looked at her seeing the weird expression on her face. He furrowed his brows confused.

“Mother?” He asked silently.

“Oh Yuuri, I’m just so happy that you have a new friend” Hiroko smiled and left them alone leaving Yuuri very confused.

“Uh… I think she knows” Yuuri said looking at Victor very confused.

“Yeah… Well your lips are red and swollen from kissing so she might have noticed that” Victor shrugged and continued eating.

Yuuri stopped for a while but then the hunger won and he finished his food. He had nothing to be ashamed if what Victor told him was real. They were married so they could do whatever they wanted.

He watched silently as Victor ate happily his food and after they were both done they went to Victor’s room. “Should we sit on the bed?” He asked when Victor handed him the brush.

“That might be the most comfortable place” Victor said and sat on the bed waiting for Yuuri.

Yuuri sat behind Victor and started gently parting the hair so he could brush it easily. They sat in silence while Yuuri brushed Victors long hair enjoying every moment of it. It was so calming and he was as gentle as he could be so he wouldn’t hurt Victor.

“Your past self used to love this” Victor said quietly after they had been silent for a while.

Yuuri bit his lip and stopped his hands. He was done with the brushing already so he put the brush down. “Do you really miss my past self that much?” He whispered. “Am I not enough?”

“No! No, that’s not what I mean, I love every you, no matter which version, you are always perfect and enough” Victor spoke quickly and turned to face Yuuri and pecked his lips gently. “I just wanted to… I don’t know, to comfort you with telling you something about your past.”

“Oh, okay” Yuuri mumbled and sighed. “What if I’m not the Yuuri who you fell in love with anymore?” He asked looking Victor in the eyes.

“What do you mean? Of course you are you” Victor furrowed his brows looking confused.

“Well of course but I mean what if I have changed? Like in the last life I lost it, I let go, that must have changed me.”

“Well, every life you have will always change you, some for the better and other for the worse. It’s just how this works. But you will forever be my Yuuri no matter how much you change because we are one, our souls never change” Victor explained gently and stroked Yuuri’s cheek gently. “I will love you till the end of time.”

Yuuri blushed and closed his eyes leaning against Victor’s palm and sighed deeply. “This is so confusing… But I feel happy when I’m with you. Comfortable. Safe…” Yuuri mumbled and lifted his own hand on Victor’s hand.

“Don’t worry my love, the memories will come back and then you will understand” Victor comforted him and pulled him on his lap hugging him gently.

Yuuri leaned against Victor and wrapped his hands around the older man closing his eyes. He really felt safe in his hands. The last thing he remembered was soft lips on his forehead before he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, comment's and kudos are appreciated and constructive criticism too!
> 
> Come chat with me on [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/)!


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> So I finally continued this, sorry it has been so long since the last update. This was a pretty hard chapter to write, I rewrote it twice but finally I was happy about it and here you go! 
> 
> I'm sorry if there are typos, I tried to go through it as well as I could but I've been writing the whole day so my eyes may not work that well.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy reading! Come talk with me in [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/)!

After the night Yuuri had stayed in Victors room it was clear his family knew how close they had gotten. Despite them both being male, his family easily accepted Victor as part of the family and invited the man to eat with the family in their own dining room. They even arranged a room for Victor in the family quarters which was maybe a bit too much in Yuuri’s opinion.

After breakfast Yuuri and Victor usually went out to practice and in the evenings Yuuri danced for the inn’s guests. He got a lot compliments that his dance was even better than it used to be.

It made him happy. He was so much happier with Victor because even without his memories he felt whole for once in his life.

He was happy but something bothered him. He seemed to be dreaming about their past lives more often now, some dream good and happy, some more like nightmares.

One morning, about two weeks after Victor had started teaching him, he woke up early, so early that the sun hadn’t even risen yet. Victor was still sleeping next to him and small smile came to his lips.

He couldn’t take his eyes away from the man’s face. Victor was so beautiful and he looked so much younger and so innocent while sleeping.

Slowly his last night's dreams started coming back to his mind. In the dreams they were young and happy. He had seen the place where they grew up and it was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen.

In that place the night and day seemed mixed in the most beautiful way and there grew trees that he had never seen before and the flowers were so much more colorful than here. He wished he could one day see it again because in the dream it had felt like home.

He laid there next to Victor and started running his fingers through the man’s hair. It was so soft and perfect. Slowly his head started filling with memories of their past lives. At first it was nice and slow and there were so many happy memories but then it slowly changed.

Bad memories started coming back too faster than the good ones.. There were so many, even more than there were good ones. He could feel all the bad and good feelings in one big mess and soon it got unbearable and he got up gasping in pain. His heart hurt and his head hurt even more.

It was too much and he couldn’t tell where one memory ended and the next started. He whined and held his head closing his eyes.

He didn’t even realize at first how Victor had wrapped his arms around him and held him in his lap whispering soothing words to his ear.

“Just breathe, love, it will be over soon” he heard Victor say and he grabbed whatever he could touch in his fists and squeezed it as hard as he could until the pain eased.

It took maybe an hour for it to stop. All the memories, even the one where he held dead Victor in his arms had come back at once. Eventually the pain stopped leaving dull ache in his head and heart and then he realized he had been crying the whole time.

He felt Victor’s arms around him, the man whispering soothing words to his ear and gently stroking his back. It should have been calming but right now it was all but that.

He pushed Victor away getting up from the bed trying to collect his mind and took a shaking breath. “I was… I was killed so many times… Why…” He muttered and looked at his hands. “These hands… Oh god… They have destroyed so many lives...” He continued tears still streaming down his face. “I saw you… You… Before I could.... You stopped me...” his breath hitched and he fell to the floor shaking violently.

It hurt so much. He could feel every single time he had been beaten down, every drop of blood he had bled. Every injury, even the smallest he could remember, he now felt in his body.

It was too much. Then he lost consciousness.

 

\-------------

 

When he woke up next time, he was warm. Slowly he opened his eyes and whined quietly when it was way too bright around him. He quickly closed his eyes again.

“Yuuri! Are you okay? How do you feel?” he heard Victors worried voice somewhere close to him and then he felt his cool hand on his forehead.

He tried to open his eyes again and after a while he saw how worried and tired Victor looked. “It’s hot…” He mumbled coughing then because his throat was so dry.

“Shh, try to drink, you have been out of it for two days” Victor explained and now it made sense why the man looked so tired.

Yuuri drank from the glass Victor placed on his lips and sighed deeply after he emptied the whole glass. “Two days?” he asked silently feeling much better after drinking but his voice was still hoarse and it hurt to speak.

“Yes… Do you remember what happened?” Victor asked hesitantly putting the glass away.

“Yes… It all came back” Yuuri mumbled furrowing his brows. “I think the pain was too much… Why was I in so much pain? That has never happened before.”

“I don’t know… I have never seen that happen to anyone” Victor replied and lowered his gaze then. “I’m sorry Yuuri.”

“What… Oh, that” Yuuri sighed and got up putting his feet to the floor. The ground seemed to be swaying a bit so he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. The swaying stopped soon and he dared to open his eyes again. “Don’t worry about it too much. You just did what you had to. I’m not mad” He said clearing his throat little and smiled tiredly.

Victor seemed to relax and then he jumped on him. Yuuri had never been hugged like that and it almost took his breath away but then he wrapped his arms around Victor. They stayed like that for a long time, just hugging and taking each other’s presence in.

That gave Yuuri the time to think. So much had happened to the previous versions of him. Only few of them had gotten his memories back and so many had had so bad and dark life it was a wonder he hadn’t killed anyone before the last time.

“It’s so confusing… Why did I get my memories back now?” He asked and noticed then that Victor had almost fallen asleep on his lap. “Oh sorry, you must be tired… Do you want to sleep?”

“No, no, I’m good” Victor said too quickly and sighed then. “Okay maybe I need to sleep… Sleep with me?” He asked sounding so tired it hurt Yuuri’s heart.

“Well I just slept for two days but I will stay here with you” He answered gently pressing his lips to Victors. He moved on the bed and went to lay down holding his arms wide open for Victor who crawled on his arms sighing happily.

“I love you, Yuuri” Victor mumbled and got comfortable placing his head under Yuuri’s chin and breathing deeply.

Yuuri laughed and kissed Victors hair playing with it with his fingers. “I love you too… Sleep well” He mumbled and closed his eyes. Even after sleeping two days he felt so tired it didn’t take much until they both fell asleep.

 

\-------------

 

When they woke up it was dinner time. Yuuri could smell katsudon all the way from kitchen and he got so excited he almost fell from bed, had it not been that Victor had him in octopus like hold.

“Food” He demanded after seeing Victor’s tired expression and kissed the man gently. “I haven’t literally eaten in days” He laughed when Victor whined and held him even tighter. “We will come back here after-”

Just as he was going to try to get Victor up there was a gentle knock on the door. “Is it safe to come inside?” He heard Mari’s voice. “I brought food.”

“Come in!” Yuuri laughed and got them both up to sit, Victor still holding him tightly. “Victor, we have to eat, you can hug me all you want after.”

“No, feed me” Victor murmured squinting at him.

Yuuri rolled his eyes. This was the first time Victor acted so childishly around him in this life but it was common in their other lives and to be honest, Yuuri missed it. “Fine” He smiled and kissed Victor.

“Eww little brother keep that away from my eyes” Mari gagged when she brought one big bowl of katsudon on a tray for them. “Mom made katsudon since you haven’t eaten in a long time. We were all worried about you” She said looking at Yuuri worried look on her face.

“Ah, sorry for worrying you” Yuuri laughed awkwardly blushing and thanked for the food before she left them alone. He and Victor didn’t speak much while they shared the bowl of delicious food.

After the bowl was empty, Yuuri moved it away from the bed and went to lay back in Victor’s arms. “All good?” He asked gently while playing with Victor’s hair.

“Mm… That food was heavenly…” Victor mumbled laying his head over Yuuri’s chest, ear right where his heart was. “But I need you more than food…”

Yuuri blushed and smiled at his lover’s, no wait, husband’s silliness. “Are you happy now that I remember?” He asked gently looking at the ceiling.

“Yes and no. I never wanted to see you in pain like that” Victor answered drawing something on Yuuri’s skin that was showing under the shirt he was wearing.

“It’s kind of confusing. All these lives in my head but none of them like the other but in every life, I have been… Well, me” Yuuri said silently absently stroking Victor’s hair.

“Of course you have. You are you even if you don’t have your memories and you may have for example long hair or something. You are still you, this you is the same as it has been since we were born” Victor answered and it shocked Yuuri a little because that was the most words he had gotten out of Victor since they woke up.

Yuuri chuckled and turned his eyes to Victor who was now looking at him. “Has this ever happened to you?” He asked and bit his lip.

“Yes, kind of, when I was little I met another god, the one who had taken care of me before my family found me. He told me stories about the war and you and our creator. I had dreams for weeks before it all came back” Victor answered and looked Yuuri silently. “It wasn’t so painful for me, I dont know why.”

“Who was it?” Yuuri asked continuing playing with Victors hair. It was so soft he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Christophe” Victor grinned.

Yuuri groaned and rolled his eyes. “Please tell me he at least didn’t flirt with you while you were a child.”

Victor let out a laugh and shook his head. “No he didn’t, he actually raised me together with his lover after my family left” he said and smiled gently.

“Oh” Yuuri mumbled thanking his family silently in his head for taking care of him so long. “Who took care of me when I was baby?” He asked then confused.

Victor’s face turned dark. “The one who controls chaos” He replied darkly.

Yuuri watched Victor and bit his lip. “I don’t remember… Who is it?”

“Oh, I forgot he was born after your death…” Victor mumbled and sighed deeply. “I really don’t know much about him since he left our dimension as soon as he was old enough. He has been living here since then. I only know he has spent the last 20 years trying to brainwash you and make you do the dirty work for him" he said watching Yuuri.

Yuuri was silent for a while trying to remember someone who could have been trying to brainwash him. Then it clicked. “Wait, but… The Mountain?” he suggested tilting his head.

“Mountain?” Victor asked furrowing his brows.

“When I was little we used to live in a town next to this huge Mountain and me and my family used to go there to pray every morning. The Mountain sometimes spoke to me, especially after my mom got sick. It told me to do things… I used to hear it even after we moved here but it has been silent for… Well it got silent little before I met you” Yuuri explained confusion taking over him when Victor started looking annoyed.

“It's not the mountain that has been talking to you, it's the asshole god. He must live in there then. Did you talk to your parents about where they found you?”

“Yes, mom said they found me there, on the mountain. I think it's the reason we went there to pray every morning as long as I remember” Yuuri said. He was relieved that the voice in his head was real but he was still confused. “Why did I hear the voice even after we left and why did it stop?” he asked furrowing his brows.

“He controls things with his mind. You have deep connection with him since he has been manipulating you your whole life” Victor said and sighed. “Why it stopped, I’m not hundred percent sure, but I think it’s because my connection to you is older and deeper than what you have with him" he explained and smiled gently.

Yuuri nodded. “That makes sense, nothing can really come between us when we are together” he mumbled smiling and kissed Victor gently. “I’m sorry I didn't remember you immediately” he sighed sadly.

“It's okay, love, I knew you would remember me soon, I just had to be patient” Victor grinned and got up pulling Yuuri on his lap.

“Yeah…” Yuuri replied and smiled kissing Victor closing his eyes happily getting lost into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it and if you did, leave a comment or kudos! <3
> 
> I'm already halfway through chapter 6 so the fifth chapter may not take so long to come as this chapter did :D I hope to finish this before summer is over and I think this will be probably 6 or so chapters more(and as I said, I'm halfway through chapter 6 so four more to write, maybe) before it's finished, maybe 7 but I'm not sure because this may still grow. I have ideas and I'm still not sure if I should write them or not... 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you all so much for leaving so many kudos! :) 
> 
> Come chat with me in [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/)!


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Soo... I don't know what to say about this chapter other than it is going to get stormy very soon. The calm(kind of?) before the storm is about to end. Oh and there is only 2 more chapters + epilogue after this! This whole story is now finished and edited so I will have this fic completely posted before weekend :) 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy reading! Check out my [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/) and come scream with me about yoi! :D

Yuuri was frustrated. He didn’t have full control over his powers even after he got his memories back. He thought that after getting his memories back he also would have them under control, but no. He had burned his favorite shirt and little bit of Victor’s hand after getting a little too excited one night when they had been making out. Also it was a pain in the ass trying to explain his mother why the bedsheets had burn marks.

So, he was very frustrated and angry at himself because he couldn’t keep his stupid fire powers under control. It sucked. The only comfort he had was that Victor was more than happy to keep teaching him.

They continued practicing on the beach after the little incident. Victor was happy because now the man could give him even more guidance since Yuuri had his memories back and he didn’t need to hold back his knowledge about Yuuri.

After two weeks of hard training(and no making out at all) Yuuri was exhausted both physically and emotionally. He was also pretty sexually frustrated but he was not going to tell that to Victor. He was laying on his own bed after soaking in the hot springs and stared at the ceiling wishing it could give him some answers about how to control his powers like he used to. He needed to learn it soon because he was scared he would set the whole house on fire if he got even a little excited.

Right now he was way too tired to get excited so he didn’t need to fear that much. He closed his eyes ready to sleep but then he heard the voice. It came inside his head in that way too familiar way.

_“Burn… Burn it all…”_ and that was followed by screaming so loud it hurt Yuuri’s head.

Yuuri got up faster than ever heart beating wildly in his chest startled. He looked around him scared, heart beating so loudly it was all he could hear for a moment.

“Victor!” He shouted holding his chest trying to calm his heart. Not long after that he heard someone running to his room and then he saw Victor who looked little startled.

“What is it?” Victor asked looking at Yuuri warily. He had never heard the younger man call him like that.

“The… The… Um… Oh this is stupid” Yuuri moaned and covered his face with his hands. He had gotten so scared when it probably was just his tired mind playing with him. “I think I heard the voice again” He mumbled and stepped closer to Victor wrapping his hands around the man. He was still scared but now he felt so stupid because there was no way he could have really heard the voice now.

“What? You heard the god?” Victor asked furrowing his brows lifting Yuuri’s face up so he could see his face.

“I… Um… No, I think it was just my imagination. It must be, right?” Yuuri asked biting his lower lip, not meeting Victor’s eyes. He felt better already but now he was ashamed of getting so scared over such little thing.

Victor was biting his lip and Yuuri’s eyes followed the movement licking his lips slowly. “Yuuri, what did he say?” Victor asked getting Yuuri back to the present.

“Huh? Oh, um… He told me to burn and then screamed” Yuuri mumbled blushing and turning his head away from Victor. He felt how tense Victor was after hearing what Yuuri said. “It’s nothing, I swear, it’s just my mind, I was about to fall asleep” He tried to reassure the man so he could relax.

“Yuuri…” Victor sighed and pushed Yuuri further so he could look him properly. After taking a good look he went to get a candle from Yuuri’s table and held it out. “Light it. With your powers.”

“What? I can’t, I don’t want to hurt you!” Yuuri said furrowing his brows. He couldn’t do it, they had already found that out today so there was no need to prove how shitty his control was by lighting Victor’s hand on fire, again.

“No, you can. Do it now” Victor commanded.

“Fine” Yuuri huffed and then focused on the candle. He could feel his fire inside him, moving slowly and tiredly when he put his hand up and touched the candle with his index finger. After a second he felt his fire crawling up his veins to his finger and then tiny flame came out of his fingertip, lighting the candle. “Oh.”

“I knew it” Victor grinned and blew the candle out and leaned in to kiss Yuuri gently. “I’m so proud of you” He mumbled against Yuuri’s lips the kiss staying lazy and soft. “We just had to get you tired enough so you could control it” He said when he broke the kiss.

Yuuri stared at Victor and small smile came to his lips. “So… I need to be tired to control it?” He asked little confused.

“Ah no, your fire needs to be calm like it is when you are tired. Now you remember how it feels so next we are going to focus on practicing how to calm your fire even when you aren’t tired. It is part of you so it shouldn’t be too hard” Victor explained and smiled going to put the candle away. “Come sleep with me?” he asked voice going soft.

“Okay” Yuuri mumbled and took Victor’s hand and they went to Victor’s room where they had a bigger bed and not long after that they were cuddled together on the bed and Yuuri half asleep. “I love you…” He whispered eyes closed and heard Victor chuckle quietly behind him.

“Love you too… Sleep now my beautiful Yuuri” Victor whispered and soon the younger man fell asleep on his lover’s arms.

\-----------------

After that the training got easier even though Victor still liked to sometimes make him dance until he was ready to drop. It helped with his focus, or so Victor claimed. Yuuri was pretty sure Victor did it just to see him sweaty and panting.

Few weeks after he had finally got some kind of control over his powers, he was feeling weird. He had been on edge the whole day since he woke up to strange noises coming from somewhere that no one else had heard.

It was a free day for him, no practice, no work and it really bothered him for some reason. He tried to enjoy his alone time with his lover but it was difficult when his mind was buzzing, from weird feelings he had had since waking up.

They went out to the beach to relax after Victor had noticed how restless his lover was and they just talked and watched the waves and clouds in the sky.

Yuuri tried to relax, he really did, but Victor was too close. Their legs and shoulders were pressed against each other and Yuuri normally would have enjoyed it but now it grated his already way too thin nerves.

This was one of those days when his memories assaulted his mind, making him confused about what had happened in his previous lives and what happened in this one. “Have you heard of Phichit?” He asked Victor when they had been silent too long.

“Phichit? Oh! Yeah, he lives on this planet now too” Victor replied and put his hand on Yuuri’s shoulders making the younger man tense under his arm which confused him until Yuuri relaxed again. “Are you okay?” He asked biting his lip. Yuuri had been weird all day and he was really getting worried.

“Good, uh, I’m fine” Yuuri mumbled and leaned against Victor. He calmed down little after that thinking about his best friend who he had not seen since… Well since his second life. He could feel tears burning in his eyes when he realized that. He got up quickly and shook his head. “Can we… Can we go home now?” He asked voice going silent and little shaky.

Victor looked at his lover getting even more worried. “Okay” He replied and got up taking Yuuri’s hand only having it pulled away from him immediately. He furrowed his brows but then Yuuri took his hand looking apologetic and they started to walk back to the inn hand in hand.

The day went on like that mostly but Yuuri refused to talk about what was bothering him and pretty much about everything else too. He could see how worried Victor was but he just couldn’t tell what was wrong when he himself didn’t know what caused his weird mood.

After dinner Yuuri went straight to Victor’s room and got ready for sleep. He wanted to stay close to Victor because the man’s presence made him calm down, even if it also made him more anxious and tense. God, his mind was so confusing now.

When Victor came to the room Yuuri pulled him straight to bed and kissed the older man aggressively. He had a burning need to have the man now, he couldn’t wait even a second longer.

“Please…” He whispered into the kiss starting to pull Victor’s clothes off. If Victor noticed his desperation, the man said nothing, just helped Yuuri to remove their clothes and positioned himself between Yuuri’s legs.

“Like this or…?” Victor asked quietly letting Yuuri choose how he wanted to do it. They hadn’t gone there yet even after Yuuri got his memories back, but there had been something off about Yuuri lately so Victor hadn’t even thought about it before now. It was hard to get memories back at this point of life when one already had made so many new memories already.

Yuuri opened his legs without hesitation grinding his growing erection against Victor. “Like this… Ah… Please…” He was already so turned on without any touch it must have been new record or something. He just needed to feel Victor as close as possible now.

Victor kissed Yuuri gently starting to prepare the younger man grinning when he noticed how wet Yuuri had gotten. He loved that part so much because it meant that Yuuri really wanted him so much. “I love you” he mumbled against Yuuri’s lips and scissored his fingers inside after adding second finger.

Yuuri moaned quietly arching his back trying to keep his voice down so his family wouldn’t hear what they were doing. It felt so good after so long. “I love… I love you Victor… Aah… Please, quick…” He moaned digging his nails in Victor’s skin.

Not long after he got what he wanted when Victor took his fingers out of him and positioned himself before thrusting deep inside Yuuri. Oh, he wanted to scream from the pleasure. It felt way too good to be filled by Victor, oh why hadn’t they done it before in this life. He had missed it so much.

Victor started moving slowly, still kissing Yuuri to keep them silent, little shivers running down his back from the little moans and whimpers Yuuri let out in his mouth. He couldn’t be completely silent either, moaning quietly in Yuuri’s mouth every time the younger man squeezed him when he hit a good spot.

Sometime after they started Yuuri flipped them over, guiding Victor back inside before he started to move on top of Victor. He didn’t really care anymore if his family heard, he really needed this and he didn’t want to be scared to show their relationship.

He moaned and leaned down to kiss Victor, biting his lip gently dragging his nails across Victor’s chest and stomach. “I love you… I love you… Victor…” He moaned quickening his movements while Victor put his hands on Yuuri’s hips and started to thrust inside happily pulling the man soon into a passionate kiss before returning his hands on Yuuri’s hips.

When Victor started to reach his limit, he moved one of his hands to Yuuri’s neglected erection, starting to stroke it in time with their movements.

“No, ah, no I’m-...” Yuuri cried before coming on Victor’s stomach and hand. “Too… Close…” He panted, moaning when Victor came inside him only few seconds after him.

“Yuuri…” Victor mumbled breathlessly pulling the younger man to lay on top of him, not wanting to lose their connection yet. “I love you so much… You know it, right?” He asked biting his lip.

“I know, I love you too” Yuuri mumbled happily kissing Victor gently. “Let’s sleep now? I’m exhausted…” He sighed and rolled next to Victor wincing when he realized that Victor had come inside him. Well, the bed sheets needed to be changed anyway. He pressed against Victor closing his eyes and breathed deeply. “Good night, Victor” he mumbled smiling tiredly when Victor’s hand started playing with his hair.

“Good night my love” Victor replied quietly eventually lulled to sleep by Yuuri’s soft breathing next to him.

When the morning came, Victor woke up alone. He wasn’t worried, it was not the first time that happened. He left the room after dressing up and went to search for Yuuri but the man was nowhere. He started to get worried when even Yuuri’s parent’s hadn’t seen the man. He went back to his own room and when there was nothing he went to Yuuri’s room checking it out again. Yuuri was not there, but there was a piece of paper on his desk that Victor had missed before.

_“Victor,_

_If you read this, know that I love you more than anything._

_But, I need to do something about the god from my previous hometown before this gets worse. I’m sorry I left without saying anything. This is something I need to do alone and I know you wouldn’t let me go alone if you knew. I can’t let you be hurt again._

_Goodbye love, I’ll be back when I’m done._

_Your loving husband,_

_Yuuri”_

“Yuuri, no…” Victor whined quietly after reading his husband’s goodbye letter. At first he was lost, but then he knew what he needed to do. He left the room and went to look for Yuuri’s parents again to ask where they used to live.

Soon he was back into his room with a map packing a bag for the trip. He was going to help Yuuri. The trip would be long and hard but if he had any luck, he could catch Yuuri before he reached the town.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment and kudos if you liked this! Constructive criticism is always appreciated too :)
> 
> Come chat with me in [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/)! I post updates about my fics in there :)


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> So... I don't even know what I should say. This chapter was so hard to write but I really like it and it may be my favorite chapter so far because it really shows, in my opinion, how much I have improved as a writer. 
> 
> Enjoy reading! There is little bit info at the end notes about gods and how their powers work.
> 
> (Oh I maybe should warn you that this chapter has a brief mention of mpreg. Actually the rest of the fic does have mentions about it here and there. Sorry!)

Yuuri looked at the sky where the offending and hot sun was shining. He squinted at it angrily. The next forest area was still so far away even if he could already see it. The sun was burning his skin and making sweat stream down his face. He had been walking for two days now without many breaks. He had only taken few longer breaks, sleeping hour or two and eating and then he had continued walking again.

Thank god he had good stamina. Even with that, he was sweaty and he felt gross. He wanted to take a bath so bad right now. He hoped that he would find an inn or tavern or even a lake or pond because he really needed to get the sweat off his body soon. He was nowhere near at his destination and the trip would probably take few more days even without breaks. 

He stopped to sit next to the road wiping his face with a towel he had taken with him and put it on his head for a while to guard his head from the sun and cool down. Damn, he was supposed to be a fire god and he still couldn’t take the heat? What kind of bullshit was that. The sun was the purest form of his elements so he should have been able to take it but apparently he had gotten way too used for the cooler air his town had because of the wind that came from the sea. 

Yesterday had been cooler, the sun had been behind the clouds and it had been windy. Now it was pure hell, no wind at all and sun on the clear sky. 

Eventually Yuuri got up, having been sitting in the ground for about 20 minutes. He needed to get out of the sun before he lost his mind, so he started walking again towards the forest.  There would at least be shadows so he could take a longer break there. His feet hurt and he wanted to sleep for a while. Only hour or two and then he would continue. No more. He could not waste time.

Little over ten minutes later he was in the forest. He almost moaned when he first stepped into the shadow and it was the perfect temperature there. “Thank god…” He whispered happily before he remembered that he himself was a god. There was not a one big god, only many smaller gods and he was one of them. Damn.

The chaos god had been pretty silent after Yuuri had left from home. The god was the only reason why Yuuri had left because something was badly wrong. He had woken after having slept only an hour to screaming that came from inside his head. He had no idea how the god had gotten through Victor when they were literally wrapped around each other but ever since that night it had been screaming in his head pretty much every time he fell asleep. 

It was annoying but it also gave him new strength to keep going and make the stupid god silent. He was not a kid anymore and he had more important things to worry about, like Victor and… No, he should not think about it now.

He started following the road again after standing in the shadow for a while, deciding to find a place where he could sleep. He was exhausted after walking hours in the sun and he needed to take a longer break than the one he had taken before.

Soon he noticed a smaller path leading deeper into the forest and decided to follow it. 

It was a good idea because the path led him to the river. There was a small bridge going over it but Yuuri didn’t care about that. The second he saw the river, he threw his bag on the ground and started undressing himself so he could go wash the sweat off his body. Soon he stepped into the river, being very careful not to slip and hurt himself.

The cold water felt so amazing on his skin when he splashed the water on his face and started to wash the dust and sweat away. At first it was like he was assaulted with tiny needles but soon he got used to it. When he decided he was clean enough, he got back on the dry land drying himself with a towel and after that he got dressed into a clean clothes. He decided to wash his previous day clothes in the river somehow and after that too was done, with much difficulty, he sat beneath a tree and tried to get comfortable. He had hanged his clothes to dry on the lower branches around him to give himself even more guarded place to rest.

The trees were guarding him while he rested keeping him safe from the sun. He leaned against the trunk and sighed deeply, placing his hand on his stomach, biting his lip starting to hesitate again. Was this really the right thing to do? Was it okay to leave Victor behind? Yes, He had to do it. Victor would anyway follow him when he found the letter. He just needed to get to his destination faster and deal with the god before Victor could catch him.

He looked at his hand and removed it from his stomach. No, he could not think about it, he needed to focus on the mission he had. He laid down putting his bag under his head sighing deeply. He hated this so much, he just wanted to be home cuddling with Victor and having more mind blowing sex and be happy. He closed his eyes too exhausted to think clearly anymore and fell asleep soon after that. 

 

\-----------------

 

Next time he woke up, it wasn’t to a screaming. For once his head was silent and he felt pretty good after a good sleep. It was almost night already so that meant he had slept at least six hours.

He was confused at first but then he got up taking his bag and put his dried clothes in there and then started walking towards the road again while he could still see the path. He hoped that Victor liked taking long breaks if he had already found Yuuri’s letter. He really hoped he hadn’t used all his time now when he slept. 

Soon the road came into view and he started walking along it to his destination. Few more days, just few more and then he would be there. He sighed and shook his head. He was doing what was right. He needed to do this so he could finally live in peace with Victor. 

 

\-----------------

 

Victor was lost. He had followed the map Yuuri’s parents had given him and also the pull from his soul towards Yuuri. Now he had no idea where he was. It was dark and there was no town in sight, only forest and mountains behind it. It was four or five days after he had found Yuuri’s letter and he could feel something weird where he used to feel the pull. It was like someone had cut his connection to Yuuri and the pull was there no more, at least not at all as strong as it used to be. The map was pretty useless when he had no light to read it. He tried to remember what the map looked like and where he needed to follow another road because he knew it would happen but he didn’t know when or if he had already missed the road.

He whined hiding his face for a minute, trying not to panic. He was so lost without his connection to Yuuri. How could he find the man if he couldn’t feel him anymore?

Suddenly there was a small tug in his heart. It was so different than the pull he had felt all his life. It was like Yuuri was calling him but his call could not reach him that well. Was he in trouble? Was he hurt? He started panicking before the tug came back, stronger this time. He put his hand on his heart trying to calm himself down. 

“I’m coming” He mumbled starting to walk again towards Yuuri’s call. It was not like the pull but it was still something and it would help him to locate Yuuri unless it stopped. “Just wait for me… Please stay safe” He whispered holding his hand to his heart.

 

\-----------------

 

“So you finally came” very familiar voice said from the shadows of the cave Yuuri had walked in. He had already been in two or three other caves on the same mountain but now he had found the right one. 

“I’ve been waiting for you so many years. What took you so long, Yuuri?” The god continued coming closer to Yuuri so he could see the god’s face. 

“I didn’t know you were real” Yuuri said quietly looking at the god tilting his head. The god had brown eyes and messy and dirty long black hair. “But now I can see you are. Victor already confirmed it though, but now I see you myself.”

“Oh, I’m offended you thought I wasn’t real” The god shook his head and put his hand to his heart pouting. “I took care of you when you were a baby and it’s thanks to me your family found you. Oh, your family was so good, always taking you back to me until I had formed deep connection with you” He grinned watching Yuuri and tilting his head.

“What do you want from me? All I want is to live in peace with Victor, so could you maybe stop screaming in my head?” Yuuri asked annoyed.

“Nope, I like keeping you awake. Even Victor can’t keep my voice away” The god grinned again and it really started to get to Yuuri's nerves.

“Could you maybe scream at someone else? I have way more important things to worry about and I’m done destroying” Yuuri said crossing his arms on his chest. His calm attitude was only an act, inside he was very anxious and regretting coming there alone.

“Did Victor tell you who I am?” The god asked coming little closer to Yuuri making him flinch. Then Yuuri felt the most disgusting feeling ever inside his head, like someone was picking his brain apart. It made him want to throw up but he needed to stay calm. “Oh, I’m little offended that he only told you what I do… He should have told you that I was born because you died, not just after it” The god sighed and shook his head.

“What do you mean? And please never do that again or I will have to stop you” Yuuri snapped rubbing his forehead trying to get rid of the bad feeling there.  _ Victor, please come _ , he found himself thinking and bit his lip. No, he shouldn’t lead Victor here. But he wanted the man there and fast. He hated this feeling.

“Yes, my dear Yuuri, use that feeling and destroy. Wouldn’t you want to do what your son says?” The man grinned cheekily making Yuuri stop completely. 

“Son?” Yuuri asked quietly. No, Phichit would have told him if… No it couldn’t be. “I have no son” He hissed furrowing his brows. That was a low blow, his baby had died when he died. Phichit had told him and Phichit would never lie about that. Wait, when had he told him that? He was not sure anymore.  But he knew for sure his baby had not survived.

“Well whatever you say but I was born from your ashes. One god found me and took me to a god who would take care of me until I was old enough… Then I left and ever since I’ve been waiting for you. Your Victor was killed last time by my minion. The minion fell in love with you which was my mistake. I should have told him that you were off limits. Oh how happy I was when you destroyed the whole planet and him. It was so beautiful. You are truly a beautiful beast when you lose it” The god laughed looking at Yuuri. “Oh, are you scared?”

“It’s your fault! You… You piece of shit!” Yuuri shouted and it echoed in the cave making the situation more creepy than it already was. He raised his hands lighting his fists in fire. He was now ready to destroy, but not the things the god hoped. “You are not my son. My baby died after I died, Phichit did all he could to keep the baby alive, but he couldn’t keep it alive. He had to bury it because the baby couldn’t be born again like we do because it was not ready!” He shouted tears falling from his eyes now. 

One thing he hoped he could forget was the pain he got when he met Phichit in his second life and Phichit told him about the baby and how it couldn’t live. How he had to bury it because it didn’t disappear like Yuuri’s body did after a while. 

Phichit had been broken, maybe he still was because he just could not keep the baby alive even if he was the god of life. He could not save the life that came from his best friend. 

“I don’t know who your parent is but it sure as hell isn’t me” Yuuri growled before attacking the smug god throwing a ball of fire from his hands towards the god. He missed the first time but after that every shot of fire or punch from his fists landed on the god’s body. 

He was not the only one fighting though, when the god pulled some kind of spear from behind a rock and started attacking Yuuri with it. The god was way more accurate with his attacks, but Yuuri was faster and could easily dodge the attacks thanks to his training in dance. He was graceful dancer even when angry and ready to kill.

The fight lasted almost ten minutes before the other god fell to the ground dropping his spear and holding his burned arm close to himself, whimpering pathetically. Yuuri stood over the man panting slightly. “Tired?” He grinned wickedly. He enjoyed this maybe a little too much.

“Stop!” The god screamed and for some reason Yuuri couldn’t move or speak after the command. He stared at the god, fear clawing his mind. What? Why couldn’t he move? Low laugh came from the god when he got up taking his spear from the ground and pointing it to Yuuri, putting the tip on Yuuri’s chin. “You stupid little reckless god” He hummed pushing the tip ever so slightly against Yuuri’s skin. “Did you forget I have control over you? I didn’t want to use this power, but you leave me no choice after showing me you really don’t understand.”

“Wh- wha…” Yuuri tried to get out of his mouth but it physically hurt him. His eyes were wide and he shook from fear. He was screwed.

“Yuuri?” There was a silent shout from somewhere, probably outside of the cave and Yuuri knew the voice, tears coming to his eyes. Victor. No. “Yuuri, are you there?” Victor shouted and it was so silent. He was still so far away and Yuuri hoped that he would not come in the cave. 

“Oh, maybe your first victim could be him. Oh, that would be lovely” The god grinned evilly and dropped the spear to the ground making sure it made noise that would alert Victor there. “When he comes, you will kill him. After that, you go and destroy the village as I have asked so many times before. Yes, this is going to be so much fun” The god laughed retreating into the shadows. “Kill him.”

Crap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment or kudos if you liked this! 
> 
> Oh! I was thinking I should give you some info about how Yuuri's and Victor's powers work. So, in their own dimension they have full control of their powers but on earth their powers are little dulled and they can't use them at full capacity. They can be hurt by human things or by humans, but they will not die if hurt by humans. Only god can kill another god. But on earth Yuuri and Victor are pretty much like humans, except they have powers that humans don't have and they can stop aging at any point of life they want. They should be able to teleport on earth but they need clear landmarks where to teleport and Yuuri has already forgotten how that power works. Victor cannot teleport since the destination for him is unfamiliar, so they both need to walk.
> 
> If you have any questions about their powers or anything, I'll be happy to answer here or in [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/) :)


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> Okay so this is the last real chapter and holy shit it was difficult to write. I rewrote parts of it so many times but in the end I was finally satisfied with it and here it is. I think I should say sorry, but I'm not sorry because this has been my idea ever since I decided that there is a real villain in this story.
> 
> Okay I'll shut up and let you get to reading :D Enjoy! 
> 
> Come scream at me in my [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/)!

“Yuuri!” Victor shouted when he ran into the cave and saw Yuuri. “Are you okay? You are bleeding!” he whined worriedly coming closer to Yuuri. 

“Don’t!” Yuuri almost screamed turning around without wanting, hands going into fists and fire igniting on them. “Don’t come closer, please… I don’t want to hurt you” He said voice low now trying to stay calm when his body was moving on it’s own. “I’m so sorry…”

“Yuuri… What is going on?” Victor asked concerned putting his hand before him slowly to calm his lover. 

“I’m sorry… I can’t stop it” Yuuri sniffed big tears starting to roll on his cheeks when his body attacked Victor. He gasped in pain when his fist connected with Victor’s cheek and fell to the ground crying quietly and whimpering from pain, holding his head that was hurting like hell. “What… Why…” 

Victor put his hand on his cheek little shocked about the hit but it did not hurt him half as much as it seemed to hurt Yuuri. Some of his hairs had burned from the hit but he didn’t really care about that when his love was in so much pain. “Yuuri, honey, what is going on?” he tried asking calmly but his voice betrayed his fear by shaking.

“I don’t know!” Yuuri whimpered crying and curled around himself on the cave floor whining. “Hurts… Oh god it hurts…”

“Kill him!” The voice behind Yuuri commanded loudly echoing in the cave making Yuuri whimper even more. 

“I can’t… No… Please, make it stop!” Yuuri cried shaking his head. The pain was almost as unbearable as the pain he felt when getting his memories back, but this time it was already going away after a while. “I can’t hurt Victor… Don’t make me do it…”

“Well, fine then, I’ll take care of him and you take care of the villagers” The god said coming again from the shadows looking at Victor crazy gleam in his eyes.

“No, please don’t hurt Victor, I’ll do anything…” Yuuri whimpered getting up from the floor tears still falling from his eyes.

“You’ll do anything?” The god grinned going to Yuuri and touching his chin gently. “Then leave and kill every soul from that wicked village” he grumbled slapping Yuuri’s cheek. “You weak little stupid god.”

“Don’t say that to my Yuuri, you asshole!” Victor hissed and pulled Yuuri away from the man wrapping his arms protectively around Yuuri. “You have no right to talk to him that way” Victor fumed holding his shaking lover close. 

“Oh, I have every right. He is the reason why I even exist” The god said smugly. “Oh, maybe I should call you father.”

“What?” Victor asked furrowing his brows noticing how stiff Yuuri had gotten.

“You are not my son!” Yuuri shouted pushing Victor away carefully and attacked the other god again. “I would know if you were, but no! My baby died!” He screamed while he punched with his bare fists the god pushing the man into the ground, straddling him while beating the man without caring about the pain in his hands or head.

“Baby…?” Victor asked shocked and then used his powers to stop the situation. Yuuri froze confused when he couldn’t move anymore and looked at the god beneath him who had frozen too hands halfway up trying to cover his face. Victor walked closer of the two furrowing his brows. “What is this about a baby? Yuuri?” He asked concerned.

“I was pregnant” Yuuri said without thinking. Oh, so his body was frozen but he could still speak. Nice. Shit. “Wh-when I died… The first time” he explained quietly biting his lips. “Can you please let me off of him?” He asked starting to get pretty uncomfortable while sitting on top of other man than Victor.

“Oh, right…” Victor mumbled and let the others move again, going to help Yuuri off of the man. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Victor asked looking so sad it broke Yuuri’s heart into a million pieces. 

“I’m sorry… I… I was scared…” Yuuri said quietly taking Victor’s hand on his. “I’m sorry, please forgive me, Victor” Yuuri pleaded sniffing.

“Are you sure the baby died? I mean, he kinda looks like you” Victor said carefully looking at the other god that was just watching them.

“Yes! Phichit had to bury it…” Yuuri whimpered hiding his face in his hands.

“Oh…”

“Okay, this is sweet and all but could we just continue? I’m getting bored and the town still exists!” The god got up from the floor hissing angrily. 

“Shut the fuck up” Victor snapped stopping the other god again even if this time it was way more difficult than before. He shouldn’t use this power so often, it ate his powers too much. “So… Do you… Um… Are you… now?” Victor asked silently rubbing Yuuri’s back gently trying to comfort the younger man.

“I don’t know… It’s too soon to tell and I’m not sure how it happened in the first time… it may not happen again” Yuuri mumbled and leaned against Victor starting to finally calm down. He pressed his hand on his stomach, and after a while he took Victor’s hand and pressed it too on his stomach. “Do you still want to…?”

“Yes! Yes, more than anything” Victor rushed to say and pulled Yuuri into a kiss. “I love you so much, having a baby with you is my biggest dream” He mumbled against Yuuri’s lips before pulling away from the kiss.

Yuuri looked at Victor small smile coming to his lips. “What should we do with him? I don’t think I can live with his voice in my head anymore and right now he is screaming at me again. Should we… End him?” 

“No! We can’t do that” Victor said quickly furrowing his brows and looking at Yuuri. “I think we should put him in the same place where our creator is, that way he can’t reach you anymore.”

“Oh… That is actually a good idea” Yuuri mumbled blushing. “Sorry, I’m just really sick of his screaming.”

“I understand, but we can’t kill anyone just because of that” Victor shook his head small smile on his lips and kissed Yuuri gently. Then a strangled noise left from him and his eyes went wide when pain started radiating from his side. “Y-Yuuri…?” He choked putting his hand on his side looking at the blood against the light skin of his hand.

Yuuri stared at Victor eyes wide and mouth open, strong pain on his own side, but this time the pain was not even half as bad as it had been before when he hurt Victor. “N-no… No!” He whined letting go of the knife in his hand. When did he even take it? How? What? No! “Victor, Victor, I’m sorry, so so sorry, please no… This can’t be real” He whined putting his hand on Victor’s side to keep the blood from flowing out of the wound. Rage started growing in him.

Victor stared at Yuuri and breathed shallowly. It hurt like hell and he didn’t really understand what had happened. How did it happen? “Yuuri…” He mumbled before he fell on the ground holding his side trying to clear his head. The pain was so bad.

Yuuri let go of Victor and turned to the chaos god rage clear in his features. He took the knife back in his hand looking at the asshole god. “He was going to let you live and you decided to cross the fucking line by hurting him. Let’s see how you’ll like my rage” He grinned wickedly just before his face turned into stone and he attacked the god with rage he did not have earlier. The god could move again, Victor’s powers letting him go trying to run from the rage of the fire god. 

“No! He needs to die!” The god shrieked but could not escape Yuuri’s knife or fire anymore falling into the ground when Yuuri’s fist connecter with his chin. He tried to fight back as much as he could but Yuuri’s rage quickly shot every try from him down. He screamed when his skin burned when Yuuri’s fire hit him. 

Finally Yuuri managed to pin the god on the floor he took his head on his hands. “I will raise the next version of you myself so you will not turn out into a bitter old man like you are now” Yuuri grumbled at the god and then snapped his neck, killing the god immediately.

Then Yuuri got up returning to Victor’s side, shaking violently and started to panic when he saw all the blood that had bled from Victor’s wound. He kneeled next to his husband, hands going on his wound trying to keep the blood from flowing out of it. “Tell me what to do, please” he pleaded tears falling from his eyes now that rage let his fear and anxiety through.

Victor stared at Yuuri, scared and shocked after what he just had witnesses, hand on his wound under Yuuri’s hands. The pain was too much but he needed to stay strong for Yuuri. “Close the wound, now” He said hoping that none of his organs hadn’t taken a hit from the knife. 

“How?!” Yuuri whimpered shaking so much it made his voice shake too. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you...” He whined trying to keep his hands steady.

“Use your magic! Please, I can’t use mine anymore…” Victor grit his teeth trying not to get angry at his panicking husband. He was in pain and scared of his husband for the first time in his life.

Yuuri stopped breathing for a second trying to calm himself. He removed Victor’s hand from his wound, placing his own hands on it and closed his eyes trying to focus. He needed to focus. Shit! He should have not taken the stupid knife with him. “I don’t know how. Magic? How? You didn’t teach it to me” Yuuri whimpered trying to keep his voice down and keep himself as calm as possible.

“Just… Just focus on the wound… You will know what to do” Victor mumbled biting his lip so hard it started to bleed. 

Yuuri took a deep breath, trying not to hyperventilate and focused on the wound. He closed his eyes breathing as calmly as he could and then his powers finally responded. He opened his eyes, focusing on the wound, starting to slowly close it with his magic, purple light surrounding his hands and going into the wound. He could not give Victor’s lost blood back but he could at least stop the bleeding and heal the wound.

Soon the wound was somewhat healed and Yuuri removed his hands from it wiping his tears away, not caring that he got Victor’s blood all over his face. “How can we find him when he’s born again?” He asked still shaking and touched carefully the now closed wound on Victor’s side. “I will raise him. I will not let this happen again.”

Victor looked at his husband, still little scared at the crazy and determined look in his eyes and put his hand on top of Yuuri’s. “I know you will. You are probably the closest to him with your powers so he may born again close to you” he explained biting his lip. “Please never do that again, okay?” He asked shaking too and pulled Yuuri in his arms hugging the man hard.

Yuuri sighed and wrapped his arms around Victor tears starting to fall from his eyes. “I was so angry… He made me hurt you and thought he could get away with it...” He sniffed pressing his face on Victor’s neck. 

Finally, after all these years he could feel the presence in his mind melt away. It was a big relief to finally get rid of the voice and the connection that had plagued him without him even realizing it before Victor. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that… Last time you missed it” Yuuri mumbled kissing Victor’s neck gently. “Can you walk? We should… Um, should we wait him to disappear or what?” He asked biting his lip. He was not sure how it would happen, how the new baby would be born.

“We should wait, it takes a while for him to disappear but after that the baby will be born somewhere close to you” Victor said and leaned against the cave wall. “We should sleep until that happens.”

“I’m sorry…” Yuuri mumbled, regretting the trip more than earlier. He didn’t want to kill anyone and he had hurt Victor, twice, without being able to stop it. 

“Shh, love… I know how bad you must feel. I know how it feels to kill someone and I know how it feels to hurt someone you love. You just need to promise yourself to never do it again, okay?” Victor asked gently pulling Yuuri to his healthy side. He was tired and still in pain and he wanted to sleep it off and he had so many mixed feeling about the situation. 

“Okay, I promise… I promise not to hurt or kill anyone ever again” Yuuri mumbled wrapping his arms carefully around Victor sniffing quietly. He felt like shit but at least he knew the god would be born again. “I never got his name, do you know what it is?” He asked quietly leaning against Victor.

“No, I don’t think he has a name. Everytime people spoke about him they just called him “Chaos” so I don’t know…” Victor mumbled rubbing Yuuri’s back gently.

“Oh… That’s awful, no wonder he became so bitter” Yuuri said biting his lip. “We should name him when he’s born again. What do you think would be a good name for him?” He asked watching the body on the ground.

“Do you want to give him Japanese name?” Victor asked closing his eyes and sighing deeply. He wanted to sleep more than ever before.

“I don’t know. Maybe?” Yuuri tried to think names that would fit the chaos baby. “Katsu? It does not really fit his powers but...” He suggested after thinking about it for a while. “My family name is Katsuki so that would maybe be weird” He laughed awkwardly and then bit his lip going silent.

“Oh I like that name, what does it mean?” Victor asked smiling gently opening his eyes and looked at Yuuri.

“It means victory” Yuuri explained. “Maybe we could call him Katsuo, so it’s not too obvious it’s from my family name” He mumbled smiling. 

“I really like that name” Victor smiled and kissed Yuuri’s forehead gently. “What was our baby’s name?” He then asked the question that had been burning his mind for a while already.

“Ah, well, Phichit named him after me. He named him Yuri. His grave is in our dimension so we should visit if we go back…” Yuuri bit his lip pressing little harder against Victor. It still hurt to think about their baby.

“Yuri… So we have Yuri and Katsuo. Do you think we should name our baby after it’s big brother Yuri? I think if you ever get pregnant again, we should remember the first son we could have had” Victor said quietly. “In Russia where I lived better part of this life, his nickname would have been Yura so… What do you think?”

“Yura… I like it. We could also call him Yurio” Yuuri smiled starting to relax against his husband. He put a hand on his stomach sighing deeply. “Let’s sleep now? After Katsuo is born, we are not going to get good night sleep in a while” He laughed and sighed finally feeling better. Soon they would have a son and maybe if they were lucky, they would not too long after that have their own flesh and blood in their arms. If they were lucky. 

With that thought they fell asleep, both of them holding hands on Yuuri’s stomach, having beautiful dreams about their future family. 

 

\-----------------

 

Not many hours later they were woken up by loud crying baby who was laying on the cave floor. Yuuri jumped up immediately and ran to the baby, holding it in his arms cooing at it quietly, still half asleep. “Shh, baby, daddy is here” He cooed at the baby walking to his bag and taking a towel out of it wrapping the baby gently into it. After being wrapped into a warm bundle the baby stopped crying, breath hitching still, big and warm brown eyes looking at Yuuri tiredly. “I will take care of you, my son, my Katsuo…” he whispered at the baby, kissing it’s forehead gently.

Victor got up too, watching Yuuri and the baby, soft smile coming to his lips. It was beautiful sight and he almost didn’t want to disturb it. He walked closed and held his hands out. “Can I hold him?” He asked quietly, careful not to startle Yuuri. 

Yuuri looked at Victor small tired smile on his lips and gave the baby carefully to Victor. “Meet your papa, Katsuo” Yuuri said quietly, not going too far away from Victor and the baby. He leaned his head on Victor’s shoulder to watch the baby who was squinting at Victor with those big brown eyes it had. 

Oh, how happy Yuuri was that the baby did not have it’s previous version memories. He really hoped that the baby would never get them back and if he did, Yuuri would make sure that before that the baby would know the difference between good and bad, and would learn to always try to stay away from the bad things. He was going to teach the baby so much and love him so he would always know how it felt to be loved.

“We are going to raise him the best we can, okay?” Victor asked, one lonely tear falling from his eye. “He will be good big brother for our other babies and we will love him just like we would love our own.”

“Yes, we will” Yuuri responded quietly, hugging Victor gently, being careful not to squeeze the baby between them.

“He is our baby” Victor’s voice sounded little choked but happy so Yuuri decided not to mention it, smiling happily, tears coming to his eyes too.

“Yes, he is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :)
> 
> I'm so proud of this story! There were so many times when this story was going to become so different and I'm still little sad that my original idea didn't work out for this story. I was also going to kill Victor at one point to make Yuuri lose control but then I decided that I could not do it to Yuuri again. 
> 
> Only epilogue to go and then this is over! I may write more of this au but I'm not sure. This has been so big part of my life these past two(almost 3) months that I'm lost without it. 
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos if you liked this! Next(and last) update will be on Sunday, see you then!


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> This is the end of this story. I can't believe I finished this, this is the longest work I have ever written and I'm so freaking proud of myself! This is very different than my original idea was, but I really like how this turned out. I love this story so much and I really put my heart into writing this so I hope other people also enjoy this ^^
> 
> Also, thank you so much for over 100 kudos! I think I would have not been able to finish this without everyone of you who commented and gave kudos for this so thank you!
> 
> Enjoy reading the happy ending! <3

It had been a shock to Yuuri’s human parent’s when he came back from his trip with a baby. They were very happy for their son but none of them could have expected that. Hiroko was beyond happy when the shock wore off and she realized that her son now had a baby. She had a grandchild! 

Victor cut his hair little after they came back home. He didn’t like how almost half of his hair was burned away while other half was still long. It being short also made it harder for Katsuo to grab his hair and try to eat it.

Not too long after that Yuuri sent a letter to Phichit, asking him to visit if he ever got the letter. He wanted to meet his best friend again after all those years and finally release the man from his guilt. He had no reason to feel guilty for failing to keep Yuuri’s first baby alive, but Yuuri knew that ever since that day Phichit had been feeling guilty. Now Yuuri had a baby and hopefully another on the way.

It took a year before Phichit appeared into the hot springs. The meeting this time was full with laughter and hugs and tears. Even Victor joined their happy reunion and Phichit fell in love with the baby Katsuo the moment his eyes landed on him. “So this is the chaos god? What are you going to do when his powers start to wake?” He asked when holding the small toddler gently smiling and baby talking to it.

“We will teach him to use them for good rather than bad. It’s going to be hard, I still don’t know how you can turn chaos into good but we’ll try” Yuuri sighed smiling happily at his son and best friend. Katsuo looked at Phichit talking in his own way to the man. The look on the baby’s face showed how interested he was about meeting new people. 

“I believe you two can do it. Like, you used your destruction for good so maybe use that knowledge for his chaos?” Phichit suggested smiling and tickled the baby making him giggle and squirm in Phichit’s hands. “He is so cute! So, are you trying for another baby?” He then asked, face going bit darker.

Yuuri smiled and nodded. “Yes” He said and pressed his hand gently on his stomach. “Actually… I think I might be pregnant already” he mumbled blushing. “I’ve been having the same dreams as first time and I’ve been sick for two weeks. Victor is worried but I don’t want to give him false hope” he sighed letting his hand drop next to him and then jumped a little when Phichit pressed his hand against his stomach.

“Oh, wow” Phichit said blinking and looked at Yuuri confused. “You are right. There is life growing inside you. And… I don’t know if you are going to like this” He went silent biting his lip. 

Yuuri looked Phichit expectantly. “What?”

“Uh… It’s the same as before” His best friend eventually got out of his mouth. “I know because I held it in my hands all those years ago.”

“Oh… Yuri?” Yuuri asked tears starting come into his eyes. 

“Yes, I can’t believe it…” Phichit mumbled little shocked but then got distracted when Katsuo started to squirm and fuss in his arms. “Oh sorry little one! You are going to be a big brother!” Phichit laughed hugging the toddler and looked at Yuuri more happy than before. 

“Wow” Yuuri breathed out happiness starting to rise in his chest. “I need to tell Victor, we were going to name the baby after Yuri, but now we don’t have to because it’s him!” Yuuri laughed tears falling from his eyes. “Victor!” he called his husband and held his stomach happily.

“What?” Victor came into the room confused. “Is everything okay?” he asked going next to Phichit and held his hands to Phichit so he could get his baby and furrowed his brows when Phichit shook his head and held Katsuo tighter against himself. “What?” 

“Victor, I’m pregnant” Yuuri sniffed wrapping his arms around his husband. “It’s the same baby as before. It’s our Yuri” he laughed and wiped his eyes trying to make the crying stop. 

Victor froze for a second just staring at Yuuri but then he pressed his hands against the younger man’s stomach. “Really? We are having a baby?” He asked and then tears fell from his eyes too. 

“We are having a baby!” Yuuri laughed happily kissing Victor with all the love he felt that moment.

 

\-----------------

 

Five years later so many things had changed. They had two gorgeous son’s, one with black and messy hair like Yuuri’s and one with strikingly green eyes and blond long hair. They lived in a small house next to Yuuri’s parent’s inn since the grandparents, though very confused at Yuuri’s previous pregnancy, refused to let them live farther away. They loved their little grandchildren and never asked questions when strange things happened around the children.

Yuuri leaned against a wall outside, watching his babies run outside and giggle and chase each other throwing mud at each other. Wait, mud? No! “Boys! What have I told you! God, now I have to bathe you both!” Yuuri shouted at the kids running after them which made it even more funny to the boys making them shriek with joy and run away from their father. Oh, the joy of having a god of chaos and god of nature and magic children. 

“Dad, noooo!” Yurio screamed laughing when Yuuri caught him and kept running after screaming Katsuo. Eventually all three sat on the ground hugging and laughing and all of them dirty from mud. 

“What would I do without you boys” Yuuri smiled when he gave big kisses to both of the boys before getting up, kid in each arm and went inside laughing. “Victor, can you get a bath ready? Boys decided to play with mud again” He grinned holding the kids tightly when they started to squirm and complain in his arms. “Oh no, you are not getting out of this. Uncle Phichit is coming soon and you need to be clean for that. It’s Katsuo’s birthday tomorrow after all.”

“Uncle Phichit! Yes, is he bringing presents?!” Katsuo shouted excited. 

“Yes, he promised to bring you a big present since you are turning 6 years old tomorrow and he brings small presents for all of us too since he missed us all so much” Yuuri smiled taking the boys into the bathroom where Victor was preparing the bath. “Hello, love” Yuuri grinned seeing his husband bended over the bathtub. 

“Papa!” Both boys shouted and Katsuo managed to squirm himself out of Yuuri’s hands and ran to hug Victor.

“Nooo! My white shirt!” Victor whined but then laughed wrapping his arms around the small boy and spun around with him. “The bath is ready soon and then I’m going to go wash our clothes” he smiled hugging his son and giving a small kiss to his cheek and then came closer to Yuuri, kissing Yurio’s cheek too before finally giving a gentle and loving kiss to his husband. “Do you need help bathing them?” He asked gently kissing Yuuri again before taking a step away from the man.

“Yeah, that would be nice, they can be quite much for one person only” Yuuri smiled pressing his forehead against Victor’s for a while. “Maybe we could do laundry after it’s their sleeping time?” he asked quietly, suggestive tone in his voice.

“Oh, good idea” Victor grinned kissing Yuuri gently making both of the boys groan and Yurio gagged. 

“Stooop, disgusting” Yurio groaned squirming in Yuuri’s hands. 

Yuuri burst out laughing. “You have been with aunt Mari, right? She used to do that too when we were kissing” He laughed going to close the door and then let Yurio down going to fetch their soaps and then tested the water smiling. “Tomorrow we’ll go in the hot springs but you need to be clean for that. Come here or no katsudon tomorrow!” He demanded smiling gently.

The bath went better than Victor or Yuuri could have hoped and they even managed to get the kids to bed at the right time. Everyday was still a learning experience with the boys because everyday they thought of something new. New games and new powers. On the worst days it was a mess and all of them screamed and cried before they could talk about what was wrong, but Yuuri and Victor did their best to give all the love they had to both of the boys and still have energy to love each other. Sometimes it was hard but they did it. 

They loved their messy and loud kids and their love for each other was so strong, not even the big fights they had could keep them angry at each other for long when they remembered why they did it all. 

They had promised to love their children as much or maybe even more than each other and they did. Sometimes the love hurt, but then there was times when all of them, Yuuri, Victor and boys laid together in Yuuri’s and Victor’s bed and the parents told stories about their lives to the boys for their bedtime stories. Those times were the best. They were happy and united, all together a happy family.

A happy family that would stay together no matter what. Finally their life had gone back from the darkness, into the light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment or kudos if you liked this! Constructive criticism is always appreciated and hoped :)
> 
> It's over :'( Thank you for your support to anyone who left kudos or comments! I really appreciate it! 
> 
> Wow, it's so hard to believe that I really finished this. I finished this series. People liked it. Oh my god. I'm getting emotional. Ah, I'll just leave now and go write my new multi chapter fic ;) 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this story! Once more a BIG thank you to everyone who has read this! ^^
> 
> Come check out my [tumblr](https://stalkkerikissa.tumblr.com/)! I'll post updates about my writing there and I may give some teasers of my new writing project there before publishing anything ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> English is not my first language so if there are any mistakes or something, please let me know! I would also appreciate constructive criticism :)


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